Published
on
March 23, 2021

At Least

If what you are about to say to a griever starts with "at least..."then you probably should just hug them instead.

Lorna Hering

If you are looking for advice in regards to comforting a griever, AT LEAST hear this…

There is no place for “at least” in grief. 


At least you got to say goodbye…

At least you have other kids…

At least you have burial insurance…

At least you still have your grandfather...

At least he was doing what he loved…

At least you tried…

At least you have some great memories…

At least she didn’t suffer…

At least you still have your mother...

At least you have a good support system…

At least you have a good marriage...

At least you know he is in heaven…

At least it was an accident…

At least you can afford a nice funeral...

At least they lived a long, full life...

At least they weren’t alone…

At least you got two good years...


That. List. Is. Exhausting. 

And pointless.

And silently offensive. 

And full of platitudes that offer nothing of comfort.


And worst of all, no one knows how to respond to statements like these. 

Brokenness needs to be acknowledged. Saying “at least” undermines and devalues the legitimacy of the griever's feelings. 

A better approach is to simply validate grief. Sit with grievers in their pain. Avoid platitudes. Offer support. Offer love. Offer help.

Just be present. 


There are no formulas, instructions, or blueprints for how to effectively offer support to someone who is grieving, but AT LEAST you know a few things that probably should not be said... 

Because, there’s just no place for “at least” in grief!