May 15, 2024

Carrying the Weight of Grief

Grief is heavy. Love is strong. This blog was written in February of 2017, approximately 13 months after Rhett's friends carried him to his grave.

Lorna Hering

I've had a hard "Rhett" week...

So many thoughts and memories and dreams about my boy.

I miss him every moment, but this week has been gut-wrenching for some reason. I asked Jimmy to please pray for me Saturday morning. I feel like I am operating out of a place of brokenness, anger, and frustration because my heart is shattered. He did, and God showed up, but I need more prayers and more moments of mercy.

Please keep praying for me.

And while you are at it, pray for Rhett's friends.

I have been undone this week by the fact that the boys and young men that Rhett loved the most had to carry him to his grave. They were his besties. They ranged from age 8 to 24. They were too young to carry that responsibility. They were brave and courageous and strong. They carried him with grace, love and dignity. Eight of these boys physically carried his body, while the honorary pallbearers helped emotionally carry the tragic heaviness of burying their friend.

I picture them in the days after Rhett's death, trying to console us and love us out loud. That is a hard task for young men who are shocked and grieving themselves. I feel so bad that they had the daunting responsibility of carrying Rhett's casket that day, but boy did they "hold" him well! We can never thank them enough. 

I love how they have loved and honored us and our broken hearts.  I think they all realized that when we asked them to carry Rhett to his grave that cold December day, we were silently asking them to help carry us as well. And they did that and continue to do that with excellence. I hope that each of them has a support system in place to help them carry the weight of the sudden loss of their friend.

Loss is hard and society as a whole doesn’t always do a good job of helping people grieve. This should be a call to action for all of us to check on people who have lost someone too early.

These kids were so strong that day, but it isn’t realistic to think that they don’t have moments of weakness. I think it is safe to say that they will need help from time to time carrying and processing the heavy load of their grief.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2