May 15, 2024

Give Yourself Permission

This blog was written 11 months after the loss of our son. It is about giving yourself permission to feel grief, permission to find hope, and the necessity of both.

Lorna Hering

The question was asked,

"How can a grieving parent ever find hope or healing?"

My reply:

What has helped me most is giving myself permission to grieve. I do not feel guilty for my sorrow, and likewise, I do not feel guilty for my happy moments either.

I have not put pressure on myself to study/read scripture. I read His word, but mostly I have sought God in a different way during this time. I rely on the prayers of my family and friends, and though I have a hard time praying about my situation, I find it easier to pray for others.

I sit with God quietly and let HIM wash over me. I proclaim the truth of Jesus, even when I don't feel it. I talk to God...really sit with Him and spill out my heart. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Me and my brokenness...uncensored.

I think expectations, even religious ones, make it difficult because that boils down to performance, one more thing to try to get right. And the truth is: there is no right way to grieve, which may also mean that there is no wrong way to grieve.

In letting go of expectations, I have found a God willing to meet me wherever I am each day.

I must note: I lost a child, so I know that I am forever changed.

Mostly right now I feel damaged, but I would be denying the truth if I didn't acknowledge that there are some ways that I know I am changing for the better. Hard to explain, even to myself right now, so I will keep letting God work His magic as He meets my needs and heals my heart.