The question was asked,
"How can a grieving parent ever find hope or healing?"
My reply:
What has helped me most is giving myself permission to grieve. I do not feel guilty for my sorrow, and likewise, I do not feel guilty for my happy moments either.
I have not put pressure on myself to study/read scripture. I read His word, but mostly I have sought God in a different way during this time. I rely on the prayers of my family and friends, and though I have a hard time praying about my situation, I find it easier to pray for others.
I sit with God quietly and let HIM wash over me. I proclaim the truth of Jesus, even when I don't feel it. I talk to God...really sit with Him and spill out my heart. The good, the bad, the ugly.
Me and my brokenness...uncensored.
I think expectations, even religious ones, make it difficult because that boils down to performance, one more thing to try to get right. And the truth is: there is no right way to grieve, which may also mean that there is no wrong way to grieve.
In letting go of expectations, I have found a God willing to meet me wherever I am each day.
I must note: I lost a child, so I know that I am forever changed.
Mostly right now I feel damaged, but I would be denying the truth if I didn't acknowledge that there are some ways that I know I am changing for the better. Hard to explain, even to myself right now, so I will keep letting God work His magic as He meets my needs and heals my heart.
