Thankful for 12 Years: Mairyn's Story

This post was written by Heidi Mayer about the life and loss of her precious daughter, Mairyn. July 21, 2004 - November 24, 2016

When I think about Mairyn, it is hard to put into words the kind of person she was.  She made me a mother, she was my person and changed my life completely.  She had the kindest heart and really made me want to be a better person.   She did well in school, played volleyball and was in women's choir.  She would practice in her bathroom with the door closed because she was nervous.  She auditioned with John Legends "All of me" and sounded amazing.  She had no clue I was sitting outside the bathroom door listening.  Proud doesn't even seem to be accurate enough to express how I felt about her.  

She had a love for Jesus all on her own.  We would read our book of prayers every night.  She loved to read.  I would see her light on and would think, she needs to be sleeping.   I would go check and she was asleep with a book on her.  I loved reading with her and discussing her favorite books.  She really got into Harry Potter.  We watch the movies every year.  She started getting into Anime, I couldn't wrap my head around it, but she loved it.  She would always open the door for people and  express her frustration when people didn't say "Thank you."  I told her not to worry about it, I said sometimes people may not say Thank you but I know they appreciate it so keep being kind.  She loved animals and the beach.  Every time she would see a dog she would get so excited.  

A few days before Thanksgiving she had flu like symptoms, we didn't think much of it because she was keeping her fluids down and we just watched movies and cuddled on the couch.  Her dad picked her up the night before Thanksgiving.  She loved Thanksgiving.

I told her that I hoped she felt better in the morning.  She said "Thanks mom, I will text you in the morning".  I never got that text.  

She ended up coding three times, the final time they worked on her for 25 minutes.  My friend was a nurse at the hospital she was taken to, she told me they were all crying.  I had no clue.  My ex husbands brother came to my house Thanksgiving morning, crying, and said we need to go to the hospital, Mairyn is really sick.  I was assuming that she started throwing up and was on fluids or an IV drip. Never in a million years did I plan on walking into the hospital room to see my beautiful, blue eyed, curly haired daughter lying there, gone.  

It made no sense to me.  How can this active healthy beautiful person be gone?  Months later the autopsy revealed she had Leukemia. I asked the coroner's office, how is that possible?  She just had a Volleyball game?  She showed no signs! This cannot be correct.  He just said unfortunately with children it happens a lot.   I never thought I would be part of the Cancer community.  

My beautiful 12 year old went to Heaven 5 years ago.  Not a day goes by where I don't feel her absence, but now I try to focus on her amazing presence and how she loved her life.  To put Mairyn into words, she would always say "This is the best day ever".  Her excitement and joy for life was truly awe inspiring.  I am not sure why God only gave us 12 years with such a beautiful soul, but I am beyond Thankful to be her mother!