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The First Birthday Without

This was written on July 5, 2016, which should have been Rhett's 16th birthday. Instead it was Rhett's first birthday in heaven and our first time to face his birthday without him.

Rhett’s birthdays

16 years ago today, I gave birth to a 9 pound baby boy whose smile and love changed our world forever. Thank you for 5655 days, Rhett.

It was a beautiful ride!

Today was supposed to be so different...

You were supposed to turn 16 today.

We were supposed to go in your room this morning and wake you up by singing.

You were supposed to take your driving test and get your license.

You were supposed to go pick up Hunter, Wyatt, and Cade and drive them somewhere.

You were supposed to drive Mara to Dairy Queen for ice cream.

We were supposed to be a family of five celebrating a milestone birthday.

We were NOT supposed to have to visit your grave.

We miss you so much, Rhett. I still can't wrap my heart around losing you, and I'm struggling to figure out how to do life without you in it. You made our lives so much better.

I hope you know how much Jimmy and I, Ryan, Mara, your grandparents and ALL your friends love you...

and I hope you have NO idea how much we miss you. It would break your sweet heart.

We will never be whole without you. Something will always be missing, but we will be strong and courageous, just like you!

I have to believe this:

What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later. Romans 8:18

Happy 16th birthday to my best one, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, sweetheart boy!